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The Loop Part 6

Posted by Nate

The loop

switching between realities

Wave function collapse

He tried to look around. Small, dim-lit room. Clicking noises, something humming. Flickering. His bed – metal, like hospital bed. Hospital? What the hell? Window to his right. It was dark outside. He saw his wife looking at him. Where am I, what is going on? Why? Why are we here, not at home? Anna just looked at him. “You got sick” “Let's go home,” he said, and started to get up, turned to put his feet on the floor. And he noted some tubes inserted in his body. “What happened to me.” he finally asked? You got sick and will have to stay here in the hospital for a while.

As he lay in the hospital bed his mind was wondering. Some memories, thoughts, images. Bits and pieces. Strange memories, strange images. He wasn't sure if all this was a result of his sickness or was it real? The walk on the trail. Green sky. Black rabbits. His home, his dear wife -Annie? Why Annie? He never called her Annie! Is he losing it? That, though, did not improve the mood. Sometimes he would lose his thoughts and fall into dark and soft nothing, dose off. The dream would come again, a lucid dream, while he was suspended between dream and reality. “Reality,” he mused. “What the hell is reality?”

The morning was bright and sunny. I felt better in the morning. So, let's try to sort it out. What I see now while awake – is that reality, it this real? Or, is the real thing what he sees in his dreams? I was watching HOLOTV. He remembers sitting in the starship bridge. I loved the reality of it.

I did not like much this flat TV on the wall in hospital room. Couldn't they put HTV in the room? They get paid enough! I watched the damn TV anyway. What else is there to do? I still tried to sort it out. This is crazy. Maybe nothing is happening, and this is just kind of split personality stuff, only it affects our interaction with the world?

There is a theory that all that happened, and all that will happen, is already there in the Universe. Assuming that reality on a basic level is nothing more than information, what prevents all of our possible outcomes to exist simultaneously, just like past and the future? The more he thought about all these fascinating possibilities, the more ideas popped in his mind.

Wave function collapse

I remain skeptical about the deterministic point of view. Incredible complexity of the world, Quantum Mechanics create unpredictability. It's all probabilities, I thought. So here is another thought: we humans are making (or not) choices all the time. So, let's assume that all possible choices and outcomes are already there, and choices we actually make are collapsing the wave function into one reality. And it will be true, of course, for every living thing.  So, out of this incredible soup of possibilities, there is only one reality materializing. I liked this idea. The world looked much simpler now.

And suddenly, I remembered what I found recently while surfing the net. Something related to what I am experiencing: A recent book by Kate Cole-Adams called, Anesthesia: The Gift of Oblivion and the Mystery of Consciousness. It relates a variety of odd and unsettling stories about people who hear things while under anesthesia or experience odd forms of conscious awareness. The overwhelming thesis of the book suggests that we could be more aware of our surroundings during a general anesthetic than we realize. And more frighteningly is the implication that anesthesia fundamentally rewires our memories.

OK. Let's assume that the reality and collapsing wave function is the right answer. So why am I remembering another me? Is it possible that the information flow disruption during anesthesia causes the wave function collapse of not one, but two choices, two possible outcomes? Interesting, but crazy, I thought. It's like two paths are blinking like TV interference signals. So, are we destined to blink in and out of other realities? That would not be good, I thought. As a matter of fact, that would really suck.

And he tried to recall, remember, if something weird, strange happened after the cardiac arrest but then he just dismissed it, didn't pay attention. The moment when he was, he thought, having lucid dreams, seeing something strange, a shadow, some strangeness, some movements and pictures he did not recognize. At that time, he attributed this to his condition.

But now. These strange visions, colors, these subtle differences. Was it this "blinking"? Some strange noises, sounds we usually ignore. The strangeness of the world, of our reality. Will I ever see the other me, he wondered? Is this really possible? Can we send messages to each other?

If all this is true, how will this weirdness affect his, our lives? How is this affecting thousands of other lives? He was sure that if this interference is happening to him, it is happening to others too. And suddenly, he thought of a cat. Me and the other me are the same person blinking in and out of existence. Like the Schrodinger cat.

Whatever or whoever created this universe, this strange game we call reality, life - what is the bottom line? Are we, humans, or any other intelligence - are we immortal somewhere? On another plane of existence? That would be fine with me too, he thought.

Did he survive the cardiac arrest or, is it still unclear, depending on who you ask and what reality blinks into existence at the moment. So, am I half dead, half alive depending on the observer? Kind of hanging in the middle. That would explain the strangeness he experienced after he woke up from the coma, he thought.

So, who and what will eventually decide my fate? Am I dead or alive? We all will die sooner or later. At least in one reality. Wave function will collapse and I will die. And life lines will stop blinking. Fine with me, he thought. After all, what can I (he) do?

I am walking on the trail. The sky looked bright blue.

Bright blue sky

Sun shines through the autumn colored trees


The loop Part 5

Posted by Nate

Alternate realities and the world

Dead and alive

Two worlds, two realities.

Late fall. Outside was gray, windy and cold. He could feel this windy, dark, gloomy cold by looking through the sunroom glass wall. The trees were still orange/green, but the brightness was not there anymore. Like an old tired face. The face of time passed and harder time ahead a certainty. “Would it be cool to know if there is another me in another reality?” Looking through the window, thinking about me (himself).

He decided to go for a walk. Gray trail covered with orange and blue leaves, squirrels, the spots on their fur blending with the leaves, occasional black rabbit quietly sitting in hopes of not being noticed, their red eyes not blinking. The sad beauty of autumn. And this quiet sadness soaked his soul. The low overcast sky was the usual greenish color. Orange and green clouds wandering the sky.

He remembered his ordeal, his suspicions about a different world, another reality, after he woke from the coma. And his acceptance of his life, this reality whatever it might be. But curiosity kept nagging, provoking imagination. He kept walking and thinking.

There are suggestions that by our choices and actions we are constantly creating new realities where our lifelines are branching into different life stories. “The tree of lives,” he thought.

How strange, he thought. So, what would prompt me to be pushed into another reality? What could have changed in my life to create another branch? Another me? My cardiac arrest? Does that mean that I am alive here but another me is dead? What other possibilities are there? If it did happen and there are many realities, streams in lives, crossroads - it was not by his choice what happened to him. It was not his choice to drop dead, it was not his choice, or actions that saved him. A set of circumstances, unlikely events saved his life, Annie was in the same room when he collapsed. The fire station is a few blocks away and the ambulance came within five minutes.

One change and he would be dead, not even knowing that he had ever been alive. Another branch, he mused. But what about the rest of the world? The Universe?

If this is true and we are in all these realities, should we assume that every consciousness, every person does the same? Creating their own realities? Following, joining me in my reality? So how does his reality, his choices, his life affect all other humans in the new reality? Billions of them. Does everyone else get dragged into the reality we create? Or is everybody else just the creation of our consciousness? Meaning we, all of us, live in an imaginary world where it is just us? But this makes no sense, he decided. If all is just my imagination, where did I came from?

Do we have a free will to affect the outcomes, to take a fork in the road? Free will and circumstances.

Identical twins and free will. Having nothing better to do, he tried to hold on to these strange visions, memories. Free will, he thought. Is there a free will? How do we find out? Philosophers still argue about this. Been arguing for millennia. Researchers tried to use identical twins to prove that there is a free will and others quite opposite, that there is no free will. But now here is this new thing – Epigenetics.

Is there a free will? Or was his “accident” predetermined? Is that true that even if we humans do not have free will there is still the possibility of different life paths? Even if we are not aware of all the options? Some philosophers and scientists think that we humans have no free will and knowing all the information about a person one can predict the life for a particular person. He was convinced that there is free will. And new discoveries in Epigenetics support his view. (Epigenetics Controls Genes. Certain circumstances in life can cause genes to be silenced or expressed over time. In other words, they can be turned off (becoming dormant) or turned on (becoming active).

Assuming that our fates are predetermined, does that mean that there cannot be an alternate reality? Because we really do not have a choice in our actions and therefore we cannot exist in more than one reality?

But there is an opposite idea about free will and multiple worlds. Every possible outcome creates its reality. So, no matter what decision one makes in life, there is a reality where this decision is predetermined. So according to this theory, there is no free will. "Let's enjoy the walk and stop wreaking your brain" he decided.

He came home refreshed. The house was warm and cozy. He liked their house. Annie cooked dinner and it smelled so appetizing. Waiting for dinner he told the HTV to switch to his favorite channel. The holo image was very realistic. The room became a starship. He remembered this episode and continued to observe the action and, interacting with the characters and actions, he sometimes changed the outcomes.

Annie called him to the table. Lucifer, their dog, reacted right away and was under the table before anybody else sat down. Looking at us with hope and love. Love for us, he hoped, not just for food. At the table they talked about the coming holidays. All the kids promised to be here and also it meant a lot of work for both of them, especially Annie, both were looking forward to it. After dinner he went back to his chair and told the show to continue. And as usual, after dinner, he dosed off.

Alternate reality



Dark Ages

Posted by Nate

Gun lobby

Blood money

Another mass murder in an American school.

The usual lip service by Republicans.
Not true, not Republicans anymore.
Trump servants, ones that sold their souls to evil: Money and power.
Faust is never getting outdated.
Another shooting.
And my first reaction - not again please, it is like a bad dream.
I am lost in dystopia, terrible dark age dystopia.
I have to wake up, enough is enough!
And then the somber realization - it is America today, it is real.
Anger overwhelms me, anger and a sinking feeling of hopelessness.
American children, America's future is being systematically murdered.
One school after the other.
One mass murder after another.
Speeches of support and condolences.
And nothing is changing.
Same terrible hopeless routine.
The so-called people's representatives offer a prayer.
A prayer.
And I want them to tell me how they feel.
How they think the parents, brothers and sisters of the murdered children feel?
Do you think that your lip service, your hypocritical condolences ease their pain, their tragedy?
Did you try to imagine your children in this school?
Being murdered one by one?
I am asking you, the Trump party - are you capable of real feelings - sorrow, shock, anger, love?
Or is your love only limited to money and power?
Terrifying question, realization comes to mind - our democracy is disintegrating.
Our rulers - they are fine with these murders.
They want us to live in fear.
To fear to take our kids to school.
Fear of immigrants.
Fear of science.
Fear of the real world, of real facts
Fear of the truth.
As any dictator, any military regime knows, it is easy to control when the population is in fear.
This works for them, this fear gives them power over people.
Trump and his willing servants - they love it.
This scary dystopia – this is what makes them feel powerful, it gives them riches that they worship.
And what is the worst by far – many support and re-elect these politicians.
Meanwhile our children are being murdered.
Not by terrorists who climbed over the wall, not by foreign agents or North Korea.
No. By Americans. Born and raised in America.
With help and support from our Government.

The nightmare continues.

Mass shootings

American kids being murdered


Good People.

Posted by Nate

How you define good people? 
An important issue, very important for me, is a moral issue. I was watching the candidate, Trump, and then President Trump. I am absolutely convinced that this man has no morals at moral convictions. He acts like an egomaniac, a narcissist. This person makes fun of the handicapped, he incites violence.  This person, Trump, was elected President of the United States.
I am having a hard time trying to understand why many voted for Donald Trump, the ignorant bully and a known crook. I think I can, somehow, understand why some rural, small-town folks, out of desperation, would vote for Trump. But what is still puzzling to me is why so many educated people are still supporting this very dangerous man. And I am pondering the morals of his voters. Do they think that moral issues are not an important factor for the president? Then the next question arises: how important are moral convictions to these Americans. Do they consider themselves "moral" people, good people? Because if American people are disregarding moral issues, we are doomed as a country.
What is the definition of a good person, of good people? 
I hear from people about someone they know who supports Trump: "But they are good decent people. They are nice people with good families, ready to help their friends." And yet these nice people, by electing and supporting Trump, are contributing greatly to the demise of our Democracy.  With their support Trump is isolating America, actively undermining our country's standing in  the world. Trump declared war on the independent press, called news organizations the "enemy of the people"...just like Stalin and other dictators.
These nice people are helping all kinds of hate groups to become emboldened, to promote hate and violence. And yet many educated Russian Jewish immigrants support this con man. Nice people are helping to destroy the environment. Granted they may not be doing all these things directly, but they support Trump and his party who are doing all these bad things. So are they "good people"? And again how about their moral convictions? Do they have any? And what is the meaning of "good" people?
I tried to google the definition of "good people, good person" and I was not able to find a clear definition!
Good people.
Good to whom? To their families, friends? How about the country? The world?
Trump managed to sour our relations with our allies and friends around the world and is pushing America into the outcast club who's members are Russia, Iran, Syria, North Korea.
And these "good" people are supporting Trump and his party. A party that is promoting hate and divisiveness. The Republican party is no more. It became the Trump party. Anti-environment, anti-global cooperation, anti-education. And perhaps many of the good people don't really want to encourage and support all these bad things? Maybe.
Does that change anything? Aren't these "good people", out of ignorance, accomplices in crimes against America's Democracy and the world's well-being?
Ignorance is not an excuse, it is not a virtue. 
I keep asking myself: why did these "good" people vote for Trump and why are they still supporting him?
"They are basically good people", my friends are saying. Maybe they just don't know what they are doing? They are just not informed.
Ignorance? Is this result of ignorance? But why are they ignorant, the good people, Trump supporters? Why is there such unwillingness to learn, to read, to listen to other points of view?
An inability to analyze, to understand the facts? The facts, not the "alternate" reality. And do these people know who Trump is and are they in agreement with him? The question of morality comes up again.

Witch hunting comes to mind.


Witch burning at stakes.

Good people? Just ignorant? Don't know what they are doing?
I suspect a much worse reason. I suspect that Trump was able to convey to all haters in this country who were afraid to speak up that it is OK now to go out in the open. It is OK to hate Jews, minorities, immigrants, gays. It is acceptable in Trumpland.
So I don't know the exact numbers but it does not matter.
The "good people" who are supporting this regime in the White House are together with neo-Nazis, white supremacists, KKK and other hate groups.
The good people.
Are they?

The Loop Part 4

Posted by Nate

Time travel

Train of Time

The train of time.

We were at the concert.

The quartet was playing Beethoven. Beautiful music. Listening, I sometimes lose touch with reality.

I was listening, and these beautiful sounds were flying, gliding into the past as soon as they escaped the musical instruments. The sounds were slow and elegant or fast and furious. Elegantly dancing, waltzing, holding each other and then, suddenly, rushing upward, away. Away, in the past. Bittersweet experience.

And I was wondering: what if these sounds did not just disappear but remained, alive, in the past?

And if, somehow, the train of time would go back, it will catch the music. The sounds, the music will return, one note after the other. I am listening to music and riding an imaginary train catching the notes again and again.

Is time reversible? Today's scientific opinion says that the arrow of time cannot be reversed.

But I don't want to stop thinking about it. Of course, my excuse is not being a scientist.

I am imagining riding on the train, looking through the window, watching the world go by, disappearing behind me.

Also, though I cannot see it anymore, I know that the forest and the lake and the houses are still there, just my space and time have moved forward, with me. But I remember, I can visualize the passing images.

And when the train will go back, I will see the trees, the lake, the houses again, in the same space but in different time. The arrow of time would move everything I see not in space, but in time and our forward and backward time arrows would intersect, meet again.

The train will pass the now familiar images, stop and reverse its movement again so I will relive the experience again, but in different time.

When I am watching old movies, I know that the actors have been dead for a long time, but they are very much alive in the movie. And I imagine that somewhere, in the past, in the other world of the past, they are still there, alive and well. Somewhere in another universe, just left behind the by the passing train of time.

Maybe, just maybe these people and their world, present in our consciousness, our thoughts, exist on another plane, in another time, another reality.

“I regard consciousness as fundamental. I regard matter as derivative from consciousness. We cannot get behind consciousness. Everything that we talk about, everything that we regard as existing, postulates consciousness.” – Max Planck.

I would add that there is no matter on the fundamental level. All there is is just information. The universe, our universe, on the very basic level, is just information, changing and creating the world directed by some algorithm. What or who created this algorithm? Nobody knows.

And information, to the best of our knowledge, cannot be lost. So maybe there is a way to retrieve the past, relive it in another reality. Maybe within some limited closed environment.

We sometimes are reliving our past - childhood memories, our youth, being with the departed. And I want to believe that if they live in our consciousness, they exist somewhere, in the reality of the past - my past, their present. They also travel in time, but behind me, behind today's us.

If our imagination allows us to travel against the arrow of time, in some realities we are moving in continuous loop. Reliving our memories, or lives, without realizing what is happening.

We all know the meaning of deja vu and many of us have experienced it. Of course, it may be just tricks that our mind plays with us. But it is more exciting to imagine the time loop and some accidental discrepancies, malfunctions in the fabric of space-time that brings the déjà vu.

Alternate realities and time loops.

As I thought that I was moving between realities during my hospital stay when I was in coma, another thought occurred to me after a while. What if I, we all, are really moving in time loops? Let's say I lived through my cardiac arrest and after a few years the loop kicked me back. Perhaps I had a dream reliving my experience and was back there as my old self, still asleep in the hospital, creating new reality back in time by dreaming about it.

Our consciousness, or any consciousness, is a crucial part of reality. Intelligence, any intelligence, is reducing the entropy in certain areas as a result of its activities, while increasing the entropy overall.

Prevailing opinion is that the arrow of time is not reversible because the entropy is increasing with time. But what if in some circumstances, due to intelligent activities for example, the arrow of time is reversible? Reversible in a particular area of the universe.

We all have strange dreams sometimes. And we either dismiss them, blaming too much food or booze, or we just forget these dreams.

Science is still not sure why we sleep. And why we have dreams. So, I feel free to fantasize about dreams, the meaning of dreams. What if our dreams give us a glimpse into another reality, another possibility? Another version of us, the result of us making choices?

October. I am walking on the trail, leaves started to fall, laying in the asphalt, whispering something to each other, to me maybe. Trees are becoming red and golden, getting sleepy and tired of hot summer.

I could feel icy freshness in the air, first reminders of things to come. I started to think about time, remembering earlier ideas about dreams, times, realities and other weird stuff.

I like to let my imagination roam free, wherever it may bring me. I never claimed that any of these ideas are scientifically solid. I don't care, it is fun to come up with strange stuff.

Besides, I am pretty sure that reality is weirder than we can imagine anyway.

Does it make any difference in my life, what reality and what time I am in at present? I don't even know what “present” means anymore. We don't really experience “present” because it takes time for our brain to absorb “present” so by the time we see it, the moment is gone, becomes the “past”. No, I do not really care what particular reality, space or time I live in now. It does not make any difference in my life as far as I know.

But, sometimes when I think of my days in the hospital after cardiac arrest, I feel anxiety. In the back of my mind, I am afraid to be thrown into a different realty, in space or time. Or both. So, I do not want to go through this experience again. In time loop.

We know, understand so little of the universe. After writing the previous pages, I decided to Google the meaning of dreams. And this particular author is very close to what I think about alternate realities.

But this is a thought experiment so we can ask: If the many worlds framework is correct and dreaming consists of counterfactual simulations of what might have been and what might be for the dreamer in a world that branches off of the dreamer’s parent world then is it possible that dreams actually depict what is going on in the life of my counterpart in the alternate world he lives in? If that is the case then my dreams are portals into the life of one of these branching worlds predicted by the MWI.”

(As I stated before, many scientists consider that at the very basic level, our universe is information.

But does that work for multiverse?) And information changes, influenced by our consciousness.

Robert Nozik suggested that if we can imagine something, whatever we imagine exists somewhere in the multiverse.

We humans complain that our lives are so short. But maybe, just maybe, our lives continue in some other reality, in other time/space.

I recently read that after the heart stops, brain activity continues for about 20 seconds. What if during this time, the brain imagines itself to be in another reality, so without knowing it, we-our counterparts live forever? It is exciting to think that somewhere, in place and time unknown to us, there is or will be another me thinking, imagining the same weird realities that I am thinking about.

Will we, the humanity, ever find the answers to our questions? Will we ever know the right questions to ask? I don't know.

Meanwhile, I live my life, enjoy the company of loved ones, friends, good movies and books and whatever else I am doing. In any time/space reality.

Time and realities.

Life is beautiful and complicated.


Price of Freedom.

Posted by Nate

Guns in America

Another tragedy.

The price of freedom

Another massacre

Innocent people murdered

Lives cut short for no reason

The madman armed with a military arsenal

So sad, so infuriating.

The feeling of doom, helplessness.

So many innocent lives, hopes, loves

Brutally ended by evil.

Sons and daughters, brothers and sisters, lovers and friends - gone.

Grieving families and friends, trying to understand.


Is that the price of freedom?

The price of freedom. Is that freedom?

Is being murdered in cold blood for no reason – freedom?

One moment full of life and joy, the next moment dead - is that what some call freedom?

So who is free and who is paying the price?

Is that freedom - to be able to murder at will, to end somebody's life?

And these people? The murdered.

They are us! Our families, friends. They are our children, our friends.

Are they free?

All these people who witnessed this horror - are they free?

As for these demagogues with their pronunciations about the price of freedom.

I wish you were there, in this crowd, under a rain of bullets from automatic weapons.

I want you to experience the horror, the pain, the panic.

I want you to see all this close up, to see the blood, to see death, to smell it.

I wish all proponents of “freedom” would be among the mass of screaming, running, falling, dying and dead.

I want all of you hypocrites screaming about freedom, freedom of buying arms, any arms to be there in this desperate crowd.

I want the blood of those murdered around you to be on your face and your hands.

But even if you were not there you have their blood on your hands.

I rarely hated anyone in my life but I hate you.

Heartless greedy monsters that are getting rewards for pushing, for allowing this “freedom”

Freedom to kill.

Why is the ability to take others lives considered “freedom”?

Isn't the ability to go to school, to a concert, to church, a synagogue or a mosque, to walk the streets and parks without fear – isn't that freedom?

To be free from fear for your life - isn't that what we call freedom?

Freedom to live. To live without fear for your loved ones being murdered for no reason.

No reason other than madness and the abundance of guns.


Source of profits for some, source of power for others.

Profits for gun merchants, power for Republican members of Congress.

Congress of the United States of America.

These power hungry, greedy, soulless monsters.

Are they representing us, The People? Are they?

Another massacre.

And another

Nothing changed

I feel desperation.

Anger, desperation and helplessness.

Death merchants always win. Always.

And more innocents die.

And more will die.

I cannot allow that

We cannot give up. It is not an option.

For our loved ones, for those that perished, were murdered.

For our sanity, for our freedom.

We will fight.

Gun lobby

Blood money


Anger and Shame.

Posted by Nate


An impostor.

Trump Land, it was called America once.

Seems like a long time ago.

Land of the free. Beacon of the world.

People have dreamed about this land, the land where they would not be afraid to speak, to walk, to live; the land where one can start a new life, fulfill a dream; the land that accepted, welcomed the oppressed, the hungry; the land for the dreamers; the land that has been loved and respected around the world.

America - hope for humanity; America - the leader of the free world.

This land, this America, that accepted, welcomed those looking for a new beginning.

This America is no more.

I feel anger, anger and shame. How come the land of the free elected this man - a pathological liar, a con man, an impostor, a man totally devoid of human virtues, of all that makes us human.

Sometimes I try to imagine how it feels being Trump, how our so-called President sees the world. No compassion, no understanding, no knowledge of the world, no desire to help your fellow human.

How does it feel to not have any friends, real friends? How does it feel to live in a world it which the only reality is TV ratings and money? How does it feel when your world conforms to your lies, to your reality? How does it feel to live without a rudimentary understanding, a knowledge of how this world functions?

Trump has no morals. He is not a Nazi, or a member of the KKK. He is not a fascist or a communist. But he can be any of these. He approves of anybody who supports him.

That is why Trump will not condemn those who support him. He will love Nazis, communists, alt-right, alt-left. All that matters to this mentally impoverished person is who supports him, him - the Trump - the greatest, the smartest - Trump - the beautiful. Whatever, whoever, as long as they improve his “rating”.


Now what?

This caricature of a human being is now in the Oval Office, pretending to be the President. Just pretending. He will never become one, because everything is about him, for him, for his benefit. And, if not, he will stab you in the back, no matter who you are.

And this person, a phony, an empty shell of a human, has the power to decide the fate of millions.

I am trying to express what I felt when I read that Trump wants to end DACA, the Dreamers Act.

The Dreamers. What could be better, more noble then these young people, who were brought here. Yes, their parents came illegally. But for their children, America is the only country they've ever known and love.

And a cruel, heartless force decides to throw these young people out of their country, to send them to a place they never knew, to exile them, through no fault of their own.

Forget for now the economic impact on this country (which will be significant), but the ability, human ability of fairness, compassion - where is it? My heart breaks when I imagine these kids being devastated, their lives, their dreams shattered by an evil, merciless man, the man who by an unlikely set of circumstance is occupying the Oval Office.

Now imagine what the world thinks about our beacon of the free world, that destroys the lives of millions of innocent kids.

I feel anger and shame. My dreams are gone.

Trump supporters

Trump army.


The Loop Part 3

Posted by Nate

Alternate realities.

Dreams and realities.

And then an idea came to him: to try to write about his experiences, his dreams and fantasies about these dreams – dreams about different worlds, other realities. Different worlds but closely related at the same time. First, he called these worlds parallel universes, but later he decided on alternate realities that interact with each other.

Parallel universes would be susceptible to “butterfly effects” and could not closely resemble each other as his alternate realities would.

So, he started writing without much concern about the scientific value of his theories. Thinking and writing about all that weirdness helped ease the anxiety of these persistent thoughts and feelings of the unreality of the world around him, the strangeness in his life.

So, he continued to theorize about all this. He actually enjoyed trying to construct the world, the reasons that might be at play here.

He thought that this terrible accident (was it an accident?) that happened to him pushed him, showed him what might be happening...made it easier to think about life's secrets. He tried to sort out in his writing his experiences in the hospital and after, whether real or imagined...about realities and entanglement.

Different realities are somehow connected, entangled. When realities are branching out, when one makes a decision in one reality, it remains entangled so that changes in one reality affect other realities.

So why do realities interfere with each other, and not remain separate?

The universe is nothing more than information, he thought. We know that computers can run several programs simultaneously. Asian philosophers claim that the universe, everything in the universe, is just vibrations. Different frequencies result in different “planes” or forms of existence.

So maybe all these realities are just planes of slightly different frequencies?

Or maybe time itself is digital and different realities are occupying different time slots and that is why some kind of abrupt shift pushed him into another reality.

All his adult life he was trying to understand, to imagine what it is, our universe? What is “reality” and what is “illusion”? And if there is an ultimate reality - what is it?

And if all this is an illusion – what is an illusion? And does it make any difference?

He remembered the movie, Matrix, and he thought that maybe there is no city of Zion.

And then a disturbing thought. Am I the same person, is it really me, the same guy that lived before the cardiac arrest? So, if I am in another reality now, who am I?

How do I know? Or anybody else? My wife – how would she know if this person, her husband, is really him, the person she loves, the person she married and had children with?

So, this thought distracted him, led him, his thoughts to branch in different directions.

But even without the cardiac arrest, am I the same person I was 40 years ago?

Just because my name is the same? My body is totally different, every cell in my body is not the cell from a few years ago, my memories are changing and I forgot a lot from my younger years.

Are we becoming a different person constantly during our lives?

And if the answer is yes, then what difference does it makes what reality I am from?

* * * * * * *

He was enjoying the afternoon sun while sitting on the deck. Surrounded by trees, flowers of all shapes, colors and fragrances, the singing of the birds and bees buzzing. Without thinking about anything in particular, not concerned with the past or future. He felt as a part of the world, a part of these sights, smells, music of life.

His wife was doing something with flowers in the garden. She loved her garden and was proud of it. And he smiled inside – she is here, with him.

He half closed his eyes and absorbed it all, he was expanding, becoming one with this symphony of life, of reality. The play of bright patches of light and shade between the leaves, the smells and sounds – it became him.

Life was a wonderful thing. He was in the moment...enjoying it.

And that was the reality he accepted.

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