Romney the Nominee

NOW … Here comes Mitt. Romney slithers perfectly in the Mittle between those oppositional qualifications. He is successful by doing the thing which he is most criticized for, “Flippin’ and Floppin.”


Ya gotta believe a grandma hugger

Question:  Who will be the Republican gladiator to do battle with Obama?

Answer:   ROMNEY WILL BE THE NOMINEE.

Repeatedly, political pundits said Romney could poll a meager 25 percent of the primary vote; a credible contender would arise to challenge Mr. Flip-Flop.

Question:  Who would yank the nomination out of Mr. Bland’s s well-manicured hand?  Answer:  Nobody.  ROMNEY WILL BE THE NOMINEE

The Logic:  Republican candidates must fulfill two mandatory qualifications:

A)  Be a conservative ideologue.

B)  Be acceptable to the non-ideological independents.

A and B are mutually exclusive.  It’s impossible.  Right?  Wrong!  (Not if insincerity is your secret weapon.) Continue reading “Romney the Nominee”

Zombie Land

This crazy, mindless, consumerism, poisons our souls. It poisons our kids who are ready to stay in line all night long to get a new toy, a new iPhone or Xbox, or pair of Nikes. Is this a key to happiness? Are these values we teach our kids? Is that – crap – our purpose, our goal in life? Life that is so short, so wonderful, so pressures?

Zombies
Shopping zombies

As economist, Paul Heyne notes, “The gap in our economy is between what we have and what we think we ought to have – and that is a moral problem, not an economic one.”

Shopping society.
Shopping mob

Arrests, pepper spray, gunshots, brawls and doors pulled off hinges: chaos at stores across the U.S. as thousands of shoppers scramble for new Nike Air Jordans.

SEATTLE — Across the country, the long-awaited release of Nike retro Air Jordan basketball shoes on Friday resulted in fights, arrests and the use of pepper spray as police tried to calm frenzied shoppers, many of whom had waited outside stores overnight.

Continue reading “Zombie Land”

And the survey says………

During the last few months Republican governors and their state legislatures, under the guise of preventing voter fraud, have passed a plethora of laws and regulations making it more difficult for many Americans to cast their votes in the coming elections.


Empty Talking Head

Talking-heads, magazines, and Internet sites bombard us with the latest polling results.  Breathlessly, they reveal Rasmussen’s and Gallup’s latest findings.  They tell us how likely it is that Americans will vote for President Obama.   They provide us with a statistical  inkling of how Romney or Gingrich will fare.  They inform us how Americans feel about the economy, or how much we trust the President or Congress.  They have irresponsibly ask their scientifically balanced samples if Obama was born in the United States.  They poll Americans on a vast array of topics.  There are other questions that need to be asked, but will likely never be asked because, if queried,  the resultant numbers may show us who we are.

Continue reading “And the survey says………”

Insanity Epidemic in the GOP…or is it?

DES MOINES (The Borowitz Report) – A growing number of conspiracy theorists believe that the Republican candidates who keep showing up for televised debates are impostors and that the actual GOP candidates are tied up in a warehouse somewhere.

From Borowitz Report

Obama a Prime Suspect

Real GOP candidates are here
Real GOP candidates are kept here by Obama.

DES MOINES (The Borowitz Report) – A growing number of conspiracy theorists believe that the Republican candidates who keep showing up for televised debates are impostors and that the actual GOP candidates are tied up in a warehouse somewhere.

“There’s no way that these people are the actual candidates,” said Tracy Klugian, a leading conspiracy theorist who subscribes to the warehouse theory.  “The American people need to stand up and demand the return of the real ones.”

Mr. Klugian, who started the website WhereAreTheRealOnes.com, said he started suspecting “something was up” months ago when the “supposed Republican candidates started debating,” but last night’s debate in Iowa left little doubt in his mind that the actual Republican candidates have been detained elsewhere.

“When the most sensible person onstage is Ron Paul,” he said, “you know that what you’re witnessing is an elaborate hoax.”

Conspiracy theorists like Mr. Klugian leave little doubt who might be behind the conspiracy to tie up the actual candidates at some remote location: President Barack Obama.

“If you could ensure that you’d be running against Newt Gingrich or Mitt Romney, wouldn’t you?” he said.  “When the truth about this conspiracy comes out, it’s going to make what happened with the aliens at Roswell look like a game of duck-duck-goose.”

Meanwhile, Mr. Klugian said he remains “baffled” by people who insist on believing that the seven people who debated last night in Iowa are the actual Republican candidates.

Imposters
GOP impostors or Obama agents.

“There’s no way you can believe that if you actually watched the debate,” he said.  “It was like a sitcom with no main characters and just wacky neighbors.”

Finally here is a plausible explanation on what happened to the Republican party.  These clowns are not real republicans!  How come I didn’t think of it?  Thanks, Andy Borowitz!

Mr. President: I demand that you and the Democratic leaders stop this conspiracy and release the real GOP candidates immediately! I am starting the petition drive to demand the end of this outrageous act by Obama.