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10Jun/180

The Loop Part 8

The Universe

Meditation and enlightenment

Next day I was still trying to digest, to comprehend the vision. Seeing myself immersed in the universe. Why? What does it mean? Was this real or was it a dream? I thought about it and decided that I don't care. I love it even if that was a dream. But why this dream?

Anna offered to go for a walk. I agreed. I needed to clear my head. The sun was low, almost touching the water. The sky became darker and brighter with red at the same time. The beach was nearly empty, some people were watching the sunset. Just the colors and quiet murmur of the ocean, as if it got tired and was ready to fall asleep. Light breeze made the world even quieter somehow. We walked slowly, in silence, immersed in the twilight.

I recalled my thoughts about myself, about the nature of reality, alternate realities and what happened to me. My idea of blinking, interference of realities due to my coma.But why this vision? Stars and galaxies around me? This infinite void around me. Scary and exciting.

And I remembered reading about the “global consciousness project,” where computers were affected by human reaction to catastrophic events, like 9/11. Global consciousness. Maybe that is what I experienced? We, humans, but probably any intelligent beings are just like little cells, drops in the ocean of cosmic consciousness. The Universe as one mind.

The darkness slowly descended around us. Red patches in the sky darkened against the grayish blue background. I felt closer to the Universe, darkness helped my imagination, both collaborating, playing together. So I let it go, elaborating on my previous journey.

Here are some questions for the Universe. Does intelligence need a physical body? Is unified field consciousness capable of intelligence? If it is, then how would we know that? And is it possible, that at a certain level of development, intelligence does not need a physical body anymore? 

I was trying not to lose my train of thought. We walked slowly. Birds near the water line walking in little groups. Pelicans gliding low above the still water. I always love these twilight hours. To feel nature falling asleep, dreaming and quietly suggesting to all to do the same. We went back home, most of the windows in our building were dark. The pool was lit, empty till morning. Inside Anna prepared tea and, as usual, we sat on the balcony, enjoying the dark still beauty of the world around us. We were just sitting there, absorbing, dissolving in this dark world. 

The truth is that nobody knows what “consciousness” is! And how it came about? How did evolution jump from unconscious to conscious? How did nature cross this Rubicon? Will we be able to answer questions about the universe without an understanding of consciousness?

If evolution succeeded in creating consciousness, it means it is possible. And if it is possible, intelligence can create artificial intelligence and consciousness. Does that means that nature created carbon based life, us, as a stepping stone and the next step is what we call “artificial intelligence”?

I could not stop thinking about Artificial Intelligence and its place here on Earth and in the universe. Somehow, I felt its relevance to myself. The thought gave me shivers. But there is a silver lining. If intelligence can exist and progress without bodies, then eventually different types of intelligence will become one, joining the universal consciousness. Assuming that, AI eventually will gain consciousness. Eventually, I decided to put this thing about AI on hold. Some more immediate questions interest me more now.

With this thought, I finally went to bed. Anna was asleep, so quietly I lay down. I adjusted my breathing as for meditation, allowed CHI energy to flow freely through my body, I fell asleep.

I opened my eyes. There is this feeling again. Falling into abyss. Emptiness and yet something else, filling this “emptiness”. Something. Consciousness? This abyss, the Universe – it is alive, communicating, thinking. Not to me or about me. It just allowed me to listen. Just for a moment, but it was overwhelming. Cold but not hostile. Vast, detached intelligence. Just slightly, fleetingly touched me, my mind. It was not like the human mind, not the feeling one gets communicating with a live human. A sense of vastness, enveloping and omnipotent. I did not sleep well that night. Something changed in me. This feeling of being part of something great.

"These parallel discoveries of a unified field of physics and a unified field of consciousness raise fundamental questions concerning the relationship between the two. We present compelling theoretical and experimental evidence that the unified field of physics and the unified field of consciousness are identical—i.e., that during the meditative state, human awareness directly experiences the unified field at the foundation of the universe.”

https://www.scienceandnonduality.com/videos/john-hagelin-is-consciousness-the-unified-field/

 He walked on the trail, as usual. Late spring. Rapidly changing the world from gray to orange/green. He enjoyed these walks, the spring, flowers and birds. So peaceful, relaxing and invigorating at the same time. But somehow he felt not really belonging here, just visiting, observing, temporary. Not temporary like normal temporary, but like every day has been given to him to fulfill some purpose, something he needs to finish. It was a little unsettling, but exiting and sad at the same time. Just passing by.  

The sun was low, descending rapidly behind the trees. The sky was changing colors, green and orange clouds shining brighter. He saw the bench on the side and suddenly decided to sit down. An outsider or not, he enjoyed his life. Light breeze touched his face, birds busily doing something, chirping excitedly. He close his eyes, breathing slowly, deeply.

He was sitting on the balcony, ocean in front of him. Voices in his mind. Not even voices – thoughts, washing over him like ripples on the ocean. Not his thought, but connected, somehow. He felt unified, one with all of this. Surprised, yes, but not shocked, not scared. Not anymore. He tried to listen, to understand. Strange feeling, coming comprehension, horrifying and ecstatic, as if he was listening to his own thought, to himself. But there was something. Something strange, alien. Not human, he thought. Strange and scary. Not threatening, not hostile but not quite human. Almost robotic.

He opened his eyes almost in panic. He was sitting on the bench. The sun was down and in this darkened world he felt all the strangeness in everything, himself included. Global consciousness, he mused. Is this possible? Why is this happening to him? What was it? Definitely the feeling he got, it was not human. This consciousness, he felt, was some combination of human and robotic, like artificial intelligence. Enough, he decided, and started toward home. Annie was preparing tea. They watched TV for a little bit and went to sleep.

But his brain was too excited and wouldn't stop. What was it? Conversations, music, just noise? Was it really the “consciousness” Anna was sound asleep at his side while he was trying to recall, to sort it out. Some music. Strange, unfamiliar, as if computer generated. He remembered electronic music he heard before. But could it be? Why up there?  

Dimly lit room. Clicking noises, something humming. Flickering. His bed – metal, like a hospital bed. Hospital? What the hell? Window to his right. It was dark outside. He saw his wife looking at him. Where am I, what is going on? Why? Why are we here, not at home? She just looked at him. Suddenly he noted that he is looking at his body on the bed. How is that possible? Anna was crying. Is it that bad?

He never believed in life after death. But here he is. A ghost? Not this crap, he thought. Suddenly sadness, painful sharp sadness fulled him. He looked at his dear wife and realized there is no coming back. But through this cloud of sadness he started to hear voices, thoughts, music – Universe, global consciousness was accepting him, talking to him. He realized that he, his other being is alive and well and that is how it should be. Two life possibilities were collapsing into one. All is well, he decided. He remembered listening to music, notes flowing away. Away but never dying, still there, somewhere in this universe. “I will go catch the music” he decided. And there he was, another little ripple in the Ocean, infinite ocean of life. Earth disappeared, his body dissolved into the vastness of the universe, and he understood, became one with it.

Mystery of existence.

Life was good, we were back home. Snow was slowly falling, snowflakes lazily floating in the still air, gently touching the frozen ground. I am sitting in the sun room, trying to describe the events of last year the best I could. Some strange, sad and wonderful things that I experienced.  

We humans know so little. About life, the world, the Universe. What is life? What does it mean to be alive? Quantum mechanics showed that there is nothing solid in existence. All is not what it seems. The universe is information. Information arranged according certain algorithms, a program.

Our knowledge expands of course. Like a circle of light it expands. But the circumference, the border between the known and unknown, is also expanding. And all we humans are beginning to understand is how little we know. Humanity doesn't even know what we don't know. We don't know what questions to ask.  

Strangely, thinking about all this, about our ignorance, is exciting. Gives plenty of food to the imagination. I love mysteries. We humans love mysteries. Our Universe is a mystery. And I was touched, slightly, by it in the last year. Was it a blessing? After all, I almost paid with my life for this contact with mysterious multiple realities events. That has been the strangest experience in my life yet.

Except maybe this? In my early childhood, while sleeping in my little bed, I saw, suddenly, a tall shiny woman figure bending over my bed. It wore a long shiny robe and a tall shiny hat. I was 2 or 3 years old at the time. I remember it vividly as if it happened yesterday. I screamed, woke up and the women disappeared. Was I asleep and had a nightmare? I don't know what to make of this vision. Or dream? Who was this creature? I know I never saw this women before or after. Never. And why me? Will I ever see her again? While I am still alive or maybe after my death? Is this episode related somehow to what happened to me recently? I simply don't know.

My thoughts turned back to current events. And suddenly it dawned on me. This feeling of loss, sadness. Sadness and understanding. He passed away, died. My alter ego, my mirror image. That is who I saw among the stars. He is gone but he is here, everywhere. With me, with us.

Over time, life got back to normal. Normal, but my view of the world changed. I appreciate life more, I am more attentive to small things, more aware of my, our ignorance. The interference stopped. I have not experienced “blinking” realities anymore. But I know. And I will keep looking. Expecting more mysteries in this wonderful fleeting occurrence – life.

Sunset in Florida

Twilight on Marco

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